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Millionaire Waitress Gives Birth to Hideous Penguin Boy!

For Tucker and Esther Cobblepot, this holiday season will be far from merry. This past November, Esther gave birth to baby boy Oswald. But to the new parents' shock and horror, their precious bundle was, in fact, an aquatic bird boy!

Doctors were unable to explain the startling genetic mishap that led to the birth of a hideous penguin boy. The child's nose -- more a beak. And his hands -- flippers! Baby Oswald not only looks horribly deformed, but the boy's cries come out as squawks. He spits up black bile!

Despite the vast Cobblepot fortune (amassed by Tucker's grandfather, a railroad man), no medical treatments could be found to let poor Esther mother a normal human son.

Tragedy has not yet let the distressed Cobblepots alone. Just days before Baby Oswald's first Christmas, the child mysteriously disappeared. Tucker still awaits word from the kidnappers, who also made away with an antique perambulator, a Cobblepot family heirloom. The distraught father is willing to pay whatever it takes to have his son back. No sign of a ransom note, nor where the kidnappers have spirited the young Cobblepot away to has been found. Westchester County police continue their search, but fear the worst.


The question remains: How could a parent's dream turn to such a nightmare? The answer could lie within the parent, herself.

No one at Esther Cobblepot's high society cocktail parties and afternoon luncheons may know it, but Mrs. Cobblepot is not at all what she seems.

When questioned about why she dragged Tucker Cobblepot to the altar while still out of the country, Esther paints a romantic picture of true love and marital bliss. "I first saw Tucker in a street cafe," Esther claims. "He looked oddly familiar. We talked until sunrise. He really understood how I've always felt about Paris -- the city of eternal love. Handsome, understanding, rich; Tucker was everything I'd ever hoped for in a man."

But was Tucker getting as good of a bargain? He barely had a chance to find out before Esther convinced Cobblepot to marry her that first week of Cobblepot's vacation in France.

Why did Esther rush the nuptials? Why, too, had she already changed her name to Esther from Simone only days before meeting Cobblepot? Perhaps to hide from her new beau a sordid past back in the states.

To this day, Tucker Cobblepot has no clue that his beautiful was at one time a truck stop waitress who ran out on her last fiancée with an unknown biker passing through town! Who knows how many more secret lives Esther/Simone has been living?

And what of that lonely truck stop in the middle of the Nevada desert? Situated only twenty-six miles from a former nuclear testing facility, the town of
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